A poetic experiment

A haiku just doesn’t seem long enough to express how I’m feeling right now so I thought I’d try writing a tanka.




prompt:   https://colleenchesebro.com/2016/11/15/colleens-weekly-tanka-poetry-prompt-challenge-8-time-laughter/

-Tanka poems, when written in Japanese, follow a pattern of syllables 5-7-5-7-7.

Additionally, each tanka is divided into two parts. The first three lines are the upper phrase, and the last two lines are the lower phrase.

The upper phrase typically contains an image, and the lower phrase presents the poet’s ideas about that image.

Many traditional poetic forms have a turn, a place where the poem shifts, and for the tanka, this happens between the upper and lower phrase. In our example, the poet presents an image of faded cherry blossoms, and after the turn, she compares her own life to the wasted beauty of those blossoms.

While haiku poems are usually about nature, tanka is often personal reflections on love and other strong emotions. Tanka also uses figurative language. In the example, above, the poet creates a metaphor connecting the wilted cherry blossoms to her life.”

this week’s challenge: TIME & LAUGHTER


Then again – maybe my tanka is too obscure and a haiku says it more clearly –




prompt – FIND THE SILENCE – https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2016/11/16/heeding-haiku-with-chevrefeuille-november-16th-2016-find-the-silence/


I found the haiku came to me very quicklty while writing the tanka was a long and laborious process.   I guess it’s about personality types – I tend to be a cut to the chase type of person so the shorter form works better for me.   Whether or not what I write is a haiku is open to question though.   Perhaps it’s senyru or then again perhaps it’s something else – maybe it’s just a ku or possibly even a hai.   I leave it up to you to be the judge about that.   What concerns me more is trying to find ways to express what’s going on in both my inner and outer worlds.   An ongoing quest …


16 thoughts on “A poetic experiment

  1. I like both poems you have shared here Suzanne. I know how difficult life can be and not only from the outside, but also the inner world. Sometimes I am loosing the path how to create haiku (or tanka). As you know I write mostly haiku, but it is not Always easy to mention the poem haiku. Haiku comes from the heart and I think it doesn’t matter how we call it. Call it a senryu or a haiku, or even a haiku-like poem, but you have to give it the name it deserves and I think the above 3-lined poem is an awesome haiku.

    1. Thanks so much for that comment Chevrefeuille. I really appreciate you taking the time to consider my work so deeply. It means a great deal to me as does your judgement that my haiku works. Thank you very much indeed.

  2. Who cares about its title??? Keep writing in whatever form delights and expresses, say I. Your photos are impressive – art, rather than photography.

    You might be interested in this article I found when I was checking a vague memory of rooku https://overland.org.au/2009/09/haiku-rooku/

    You might also be interested that last night’s tea time book for twins was a narrative about a dog told in haiku. I haven’t read another lot of haiku to my 3 year olds yet: it’s descriptive. It’ll be interesting to see if they like it.

    1. I hope the twins like haiku. You might be interested in this haiku children’sbook written by a woman I met online in a writing group. I haven’t read it but she is promoting it a lot.
      Thanks for your kind words on my photos. I did add some filters to these image in Photshop Elements. I will check out your link now.

    2. I went to the link. I get intimated by ‘proper’ poets like that for I think my stuff is not as clever as most published haiku. I would like to hear people reading their haiku though. I will look out for a local poetry meeting.

Please comment. I love knowing what you think.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s